


Breaking Dawn

by Hobnob69



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: F/F, Tw:fish and chips, and Aquaria haz greasy hair, miz cracker is canonically naked throughout the whole thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-31
Updated: 2018-06-02
Packaged: 2019-05-16 15:14:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14813804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hobnob69/pseuds/Hobnob69
Summary: Miz Cracker needs to get to her job interview, and stumbles across a stranger that may be able to help...





	1. Chapter 1

It was a beautiful Saturday morning as light broke through the curtains. Miz Cracker awoke with a yawn and looked at her Casio sports watch daintily. Shit! She was late for her board meeting at logo TV headquarters in Manchester! How would she ever get there on time?

She burst out of her front door and knelt in the rain, letting out an almost primal roar, ripping away her Thomas the tank engine pyjamas in a fit of pure unadulterated rage. 

The whole situation wasn’t ideal honestly. Her Ford Fiesta was in the shop because of a fender bender she had with a local skank who’d had one too many MDMA’s, and she’d already missed the bus.

Cracker sighed as her now naked body sagged to the floor. If she didn’t get this job, she could never afford to keep up her lesbian lifestyle.

Just then out of the corner of her eye, she spotted a lanky looking raven black haired lady with black lips and magenta eyes with a massive black trench coat and goth piercings and eye makeup that ran down her face.

“Hello I’m Aquaria.” She said gloomily, striking a goth pose.

“Hello I’m gay,...,,,,,woooahahoo!! haha whoops!!! I meant to say hello I’m Miz Cracker I’m so c-clumsy!!!” She blonde said blushing like a mother fucker at her own whacky slip up. 

The greasy woman looked at her disgustedly. “That’s a stupid name.”

“It’s because you see...when I was little I was....” Cracker held back her tears. “I was...born in a Jacobs cracker factory!!” She cried out, her darkest secret unveiled.

“That’s dark.” Aquaria sobbed, helping Miz Crackers naked body off the floor. ‘She has massive boobs!’ Thought Aquaria to herself but she would never really admit that.

“I have a secret for you too Cracker...”

“Yeah go on then.” 

“I’m....I’m....A VAMPIRe!!” Aquaria yelled, her fangs sort of wetly unsheathing from her gums all gross like. 

Cracker didn’t mind really. She liked the twilight series and was always team Edward so she couldn’t see it being an issue. 

“Want to go and get some fish and chips?” Miz whispered into the shell of Aquarias ear.

“Yeah go on then.” 

 

-

“I’m sorry miss we can’t serve you if you aren’t wearing any clothes.” The lady behind the counter said reasonably, flipping over the Cumberland sausages so they would be cooked evenly.

This was the lowest Miz Cracker had ever felt. Her entire world was crashing down around her. All because she was....naked.

Just then she heard Aquaria roar like a big cat. Maybe some sort of leopard. Aquaria lept over the counter and planted her teeth into the fish and chip lady’s neck.

“AaaaAAAOOooeeahhOOoo...OOAJHHAANNNGHOOoo00” The woman screamed in agony as the people eating fish and chips stared as Aquaria drained her life force.

“You s-saved me.” Miz said, a sapphic tear rolling down her face.

“Yeh lol.” Aquaria said, having maimed an innocent life. “Want to make out?”

“No could I get a Donner Cabab meat box actually?” 

-

After a hearty Fish and chips meal they were both in Aquarias spooky home. It was full of lots of eccentric shit like severed cat heads and the twilight books and shit. 

“Yeah this is my mums house.” Aquaria explained. “Her name is Sharon needles, and she’s gay like I am, and she used to be in love with this woman called Alaska, but then they broke up, so now I just sort of brood gayly in my room and listen to Radiohead.”

Miz Cracker nodded, not particularly listening. She was more focused on the maccies she could see outside the window, and wondered what the wrap of the day meal was.

Suddenly Aquarias lips were on hers sloppily without consent. It was pretty hot guys. Kind of like the first day of summer when you’re sat outside eating jubblies.

They both mewled in unison, attracting some neighbourhood cats. Aquaria shooed them away because they were from the street and probably had cat aids.

Just then there was a loud bang.

They both turned around.

Omg.

It was Jeremy Kyle!!!

“Ladies!” He boomed, ignoring Miz Crackers grotesque naked form. “The DNA results are in...”

“You what.” Aquaria said confused, tossing a strand of her greasy hair behind her shoulder.

Jeremy Kyle got out a silver envelope and opened it slowly. The suspense was killing them.

“The results say...”

Complete silence fell across the room.

“You ARE related!!”

In terms of fucked up-ness, this was up there with accidentally using somebody else’s toothbrush. She’d been committing incest with her sister!!!

“Looks like we’re related Miz Cracker.” Aquaria said, offering a sisterly smile.

“Yeh.” 

Jeremy Kyle patted them both on the shoulder. “We have a team of experts on hand to help with your problem.”

“Thanks.” They both said in unison. Though Miz Cracker was slightly delayed, as she was still eating her Donner Kabab meat.

“Great bye ladies.” Jezza concluded, exiting the way he came in. What a lovely guy.

“You know” Aquaria began, turning to face Miz “I’ve never had a sister before. Only a mother, and she’s addicted to cocaine. I’d love a healthy platonic relationship with you.”

“Yeah that don’t sound bad.”

From there on out the two would meet in Birmingham every month or so for a ladies night out, they’d send each other Christmas cards, and they’d respect each other’s boundaries.

This was the beginning of the rest of their lives.


	2. Knickerbocker glory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A boring day turns into a fun one, as the two sisters disfigure 3 people and end an innocent life!

Aquaria woke up to the sound of her mum bursting into the room. Her eyes were all flared and she was covered in Nutella, so she’d obviously already done her morning heroin.

Aquaria was still applying her emo makeup listening to Nirvana, her mum could fuck off for all she cared.

“Aquaria it’s time for school sweaty.”

“SHUT UP SHARON.” She retorted. God she was so damaged by her mother....so tormented.

“Please dear call me mother.” Sharon said sobbing into her discount box of tissues. What a total bitch.

Aquaria sighed a deep and tormented sigh. She threw herself out of the window and landed on the hard tarmac below. Luckily her tough vampiric body stopped her from sustaining any damage and she hopped onto the school bus.

From there she could see all her best pals. Blair st Clair, Monet x change and of course everyone’s favourite teenage girl, kalorie carbdashian Williams.

On her way to sit down with them she was stopped in her tracks. It was the three troublesome bullies that loved to torment her every day, Detox Alaska and Roxxxy!!

“Stop right there eh?” Detox said, wiggling her jaw menacingly. 

“Yeah!!! You ain’t going anywheres you undead spaz!!” Alaska said flipping out her switch blade.

“Can I borrow some money for a freddo.” Roxxxy added intimidatingly. 

Aquarias vampire fangs came out of her gums and her eyes glowed a deep crimson magenta red like the moon, and her hair began to glow.

“Get out my way. Unless you want to be shanked in the spleen....”

The three laughed in unison, their shoulders bouncing up and down as they let out a hearty chuckle.

“Give it up Aquaria, everyone knows your mum is on benefits.” Detox sneered.

She was right. Her mum had to go pick up a yellow slip every morning to fuel her drug addiction. Aquaria began to cry blood tears as she collapsed to the floor of the bus.

Just then she heard a noise to the left of her. She turned around and it was her sister! Miz Cracker!

“What’s wrong.” The blonde said.

“They’re making fun of me for being on benefits.” Aquaria sobbed. The rest of the bus was laughing at her for being so middle class. 

Miz Cracker had heard enough. She busted out her brass knuckles and socked the three bullies in the face hard enough to irreparably disfigure them for life. That ought to show them!!!

The two made their way to the back of the bus and sat down. Cracker had bought a match of the day magazine and began to read it. She was a very smart sister.

The rest of the trip to school was a bit dead honestly. They had to make a brief stop at the hospital and watch rolaskatoxes parents mourn over the disfigurement of their children, but that was about it.

“Who wants to hear a joke.” Kalorie carbdashian Williams the most popular girl in school said. 

“Yeh go on then.” Blair said, her little cheeks lighting up with excitement.

“A man walks into a bar-“ 

Aquaria lashed out, clawing kalorie in the throat, killing her instantly.

“IVE HEARD THAT ONE.” She roared, flinging blood everywhere.

“Shit Aquaria you just killed the most popular girl in school. We have to get off the bus before anyone notices.”

And so they did. When they got off the bus they found themselves in Derbyshire, which is a bit odd, as there school is in Birmingham.

Never the less, they found a nearby play-park. There were some children hogging the swing, so they forcefully pushed them off. 

“Cracker i have to admit, I haven’t been a very good sister today...” Aquaria began, swinging back and forth like an absolute loony. “You had to fend off those bullies for me...and I got blood on your new clothes!!”

“It’s ok.” Cracker said patting the emo on the shoulder sympathetically. “My clothes are all from Morrison’s.”

Aquaria really was grateful for such a gnarly sister. There was nothing more gratifying than having somebody you never knew come into your life, and then having a surprise visit from Jeremy Kyle!! 

She decided to thank Cracker by getting ice creams. They both made their way to the truck and ordered two knickerbocker glories.

On closer inspection, the ice cream man was BenDelaCreme!

“Ben? I thought you sold newspapers.” Miz Cracker said in surprise, using a napkin to try to remove some of calorie carbdashian Williams blood off her shirt.

“Oi i did, but ever since Teresa may came into power quids been harder to come by. Filthy skank she is.”

The pair thanked Bendela and took their ice creams. They decided it was time to head back home to get a much needed snooze.

-

The journey from Derbyshire to Birmingham had been a long one, but when they got back to Aquarias house they stuck the telly on. An episode of the Tweenies played, the episode with jimmy Saville.

“Miz Cracker, apart from being a vampire, there’s another secret I’ve been keeping from you...”

You could cut the tension in the room like butter, or even I can’t believe it’s not butter prehaps. Aquaria looked at the floor guiltily.

“I’m a prostitute.”

“That’s alwight. I support women’s decisions to work in the sex industry as long as they don’t fall under exploitative management and keep themselves clean of danger.”

The two hugged. It really was the perfect end to a perfect day. They carried on watching the Tweenies, and decided to ignore the policemen knocking at the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I used to love getting ice creams from the ice cream man, but later I found out her was a convicted pedophile. Looking back at it, I just wondered why he never went for me. Fuck you Dave.

**Author's Note:**

> I would like a sister because all I have is two brothers and they both hit me sometimes. The teachers ask where the bruises are from and I have to lie and say they’re from my parents. 
> 
> And I’m sorry for making you read incest but it was important for the plot.


End file.
